So, what now ? This is a question that I have been constantly asking myself, and yet I know that it is I, who is responsible to seek out for the answers. Having finished my undergraduate degree in Imperial, there was no sighs of relief, nor signs of joy, much to my surprise. But echoes of questions , questioning my purpose of being, questioning about the future, questioning of what might happen and what might not - surfaced, and re-surfaced constantly. I know, it is the mind's old tricks again. Trying to cast doubts when I should be staying strong. Trying to propose an alternative view to what seemed solid / valid. I am still trying to peek beyond the layers and layers of superficiality, and to seek the real truth. But I know that as long as I look hard enough, what I am eager to search for will be lying at the horizon, waving its hands at me. I re-read the book 'The Alchemist' again, and I am surprised that I still managed to find some source of inspiration, after 5 years when I first lay my hands on it. And here is a famous line , and my favourite line from the book : when you want something, the whole universe conspires to help you achieve it. So, I shall bid my past goodbye, and begin another journey, where more excitement and thrilling fun awaits. Goodbye to this blog, once a collector of my thoughts and memories. I send my love to everyone who reads this blog. And no matter who you are, remember to stay true to yourself. :)

do you know what it feels like to have the whole sky crumbling and heaving its heavy weight on you?

that feeling of being paralysed, gasping for air.

and i always wonder - why would it happen in the first place. why would it have to be the same person - again. but i guess, what didn't kill you, makes you stronger.

but i guess the fortunate thing is; in realty, you are still able to eat, breathe, and sleep normally despite the internal struggles.

let us hope that this too, will be over.

颜绮

颜绮，一年了。不懂何故，总觉得你未曾离开。你知道吗，偶尔想你的时候，我会打开你的面子书，看看你的挚友们留给你的留言，大家都很想你呢！你的离去，让我开始留意到了你的存在。看到了你爸爸在报纸登上的笔记，它感动了我。颜绮，你真的好坚强！

就像芷菱说，你是打不死的蟑螂；你的离去，好像是我们相遇的开始。你的文章让我看到了，你的世界，那个真正的你；我真的很希望，自己在你还活着的时候，可以用心地认识你；我崇拜你的善良，你的坚强；你就
是我的模范。 总觉得，生命的诞生，正是为葬礼的筹备.而你的离去，更肯定了我的'怪论'。倘若有一天，我离开了，我也希望自己的精神可以尚存人间，为大家谋福,像你一样，毕竟人生苦短;可以把正面的，留下给仅存的，那该多好。

真的很谢谢你，走过了我的生命。认识你，是我的福气。

[佛说，利于人，即是善；利于己，既是恶。]那么说，颜绮你真是一个大善人!希望你那大爱的精神，可以远仰!:)

http://www.guangming.com.my/node/90654?tid=3

无意中发现了颜绮的抗癌手迹，与大家共勉之。:)