Spinal Muscular Atrophy

Meet Shane, a 21 year old man with Spinal Muscular Atrophy diagnosed since 2 years old.

Imagine a life where your muscles are no longer controlled by your brain.
Imagine a life where your muscles shrink and gets weaker day by day.
Imagine losing the ability to walk, run, hop, jump.
Imagine inserting a nasal tube into your nose everyday before you sleep just so you won't die of respiratory muscle failure.
Imagine spending only 20 minutes to chew a mouthful.
Imagine requiring assistance for feeding.
Imagine requiring assistance for showering.

What would you do ? How would you react to it ?


I shall not elaborate further on that, and let the video walk you through it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwZZZkrJycQ


Meanwhile, here is an afterthought for myself :
' Live as if everyday is the last day of your life. Try your best and be fearless.'

Little bouts of sunshine

After a good ranting and self reflection yesterday, good things happened to me today. Sometimes, you never know what's around the corner. Keep doing your best and somehow, someday, you'll be rewarded.  (yay)

I have been going through some old pictures, and these are the stuffs that I have been missing. And looking at them simply makes me happy. Silly me :p

Food from Borough Market. I didn't have the picture of the infamous Raclette. But looking at this yummy meringue would suffice. 

St. Paul's Cathedral. My favourite landmark in London alongside with Tower Bridge, Big Ben. St. Paul's Cathedral ranks first. I could never ever get bored of looking at it. 

Prof. Dr. Sigmund Freud's Office in Austria. This was taken when I was doing my solo travel in Vienna, Austria. One of the perks of travelling alone is that you'll be able to visit something as boring as this (but as interesting as it is to me) without having to offend anybody. (yay)

One of my favourite places. Hallstatt, Austria. 

Wolfgangsee, Austria. I miss going on road trips and this was one of the best I ever had ! We were randomly exploring around this quiet town and managed to witness an air fair, fireworks as we dine under the stars, and scenic landscapes.  :) 

 Being able to help someone, travelling, and food are my sunshine factors. Life feels good after receiving my sunshine boost! What's your sunshine factor then ? :) 

Thoughts

Hey all, I am back to blogging again.

It's quite funny but these few days I imagine myself doing these few things :
1. Drowning
2. Running away - escaping this routine of medical school and be a globe trotter doing odd jobs in all cities of the world, the only thing I ever wanted in this life.

Truth is, I haven't been feeling pretty much myself lately. I am almost a quarter done with medical school, and  to be honest there is never a moment that I have ever regretted for joining it.

However, I have been having doubts with myself lately and doing my usual thing- worrying about nonchalant stuffs. Back in college we call it TTMS - it's a syndrome due to overthinking, which is bad.  So, what are my worries actually ? The big thing that has been constantly playing on a loop in my brain is : I am afraid that I won't be a good enough doctor for my patients. I never doubted my resolute of becoming a doctor, but I doubt myself in becoming a good one. I am worried of the day where I had to attend the M&M review, and I was the doctor in charge who is responsible for the patient's life.

Life is too precious, and what makes doctors healers of life and soul? As I traverse along this journey, I find myself weak and incapable of performing such a noble job but I know I have to continue with this journey of my own. I find myself cowardly for finding fear in what I am about to do. But I have to overcome my fears anyhow.

Note to self : "Let's do this. Let's be brave. Let's face the consequences"

Quoting from someone I know : "if you're afraid of something and not doing it, your fear will grow bigger and you'll be afraid of similar things; but if you crush your fear, you will do more and more things that you were afraid of back then, probably you are still scared, but you are doing it at the very least." 

I have been trying to overcome my fears all this while - by acknowledging them and doing something about it to overcome it, so why not now then ? I hope that one day, I will be able to say confidently that  
" I have considered all the possibilities and tried the best for my patients. His / her recovery now rests on God's will. " 

I hope I'll be the best doctor for my patients some day. :)

P.s. Here's an article to share - Drew Houston's (Founder of Dropbox) Commencement Address 
http://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/2013/commencement-address-houston-0607.html
My after thoughts : It appears to be that if you are to live up to 80 years, you would have 29200 days in your life to spend. Note to self : stop worrying , make it an adventure and go ever upward. Make your journey one that will be remembered. 

怎么了

最近的生活，很忙碌。 忙什么？忙着追逐梦想。 梦想是什么?　无法赋予定义，只知道要当一个好医生。好医生的定义，又是什么？一个忽略身边周遭的人，只为了追求梦想的人，还算是一个人吗？值得吗？　

我也不知道。

只知道，这半年以来，一直把自己埋藏在书丛中，不停地考试，和家人的相处的时间也少了，和朋友的时间也不怎么多。最近家里有事，才发现我在追逐梦想的当儿，忽略了家人。值得吗？为什么要那么执著？问自己，却没有答案。 

总觉得，时间不够，年轻时就应该去拼，家人-- 可以等。才发现自己不知不觉已经成了一个冷漠的读书怪兽。不值得。不值得。

是时候，从新开始。人生里，永远都要有家人， 才是完整。